vorticies

     I pick up the little black bug.  It’s feet start to move violently as it no longer senses the security of the floor.   I watch it kick pathetically, helplessly and then I toss him into the toilet.  He floats on his back.  He continues to kick.  I flush the toilet and watch as the water swirls into a vortex that whirls him around and around and slowly, with each turn pulls him in and down.  But he continues to kick, the faster he swirls the faster he kicks.  He knows he is in danger but there is nothing else he can do.  He does not give up; I watch him kick as he swirls and disappears down the vortex.  

     What kind of vortex have I encountered?  The waters swirl around me and pull me down with tremendous force.  But at the center of my vortex there is a pole.   The pole is smooth and slippery and hard to hold onto, but it prevents me from going under as long as I hang on.  As I look around I can see only fog and darkness in the distance.  I feel only the swirling water and the smooth, slippery pole that I have wrapped my arms around.  By force of will I have managed to distort my arms into flat rubber bands that wrap around and around the pole.  But the water is fast, and I am tired.  How much longer can I hold on?  I close my eyes and become nothing but rubber band arms wrapping the pole. Who can save me?   

    A face appears out of the fog.  It is distorted and angry.  Why is this face so angry at me?  I am just doing my best to hold on.  Gradually I see that the face belongs to my brother.  He is shouting that I should wake up.  He is demanding a response--- “Can you here me?”  Yes I can, but I cannot speak.  Don’t you see that I am using all my strength to hold onto the pole?  If I speak, I know I shall loose my grip.  So I stare, and try to communicate with my eyes.  Yes I am here, yes I hear you, but I cannot answer.  I cannot answer because I cannot loosen my grip.  Gradually his face fades back into the edge of darkness and fog.  I close my eyes.  I become the rubber band encircling and gripping the pole.  All I can do is hold on.  Who can save me?