Suxamethonium chloride

The last thing to do before going to the OR is to talk with the anesthetist and sign the consent.  "Do you understand the gravity of this procedure?"  I simply replied yes.  I thought death on the operating table,
death in the ICU,  perhaps a long lingering death intubated and psychotic in the ICU.  I thought about Meg being asked to pull the plug.  YES! I GET IT!!  But any lingering doubts were silenced by the advice from a doctor nearly 30 years ago in Pittsburgh-- if they put you on the list, you better pray they find a liver.  There is no other option for survival.  You better believe, this thing is real. 

One of the scariest movies of all time is called The Serpent and the Rainbow.   This movie is about Haitian zombies which are people who undergo horrific psychological torture while being given muscular paralyzing drugs.

OK, my experience wasn't nearly that bad, and I have not been zombified.  But I woke up after the
transplant operation (like 5 hours of surgery) still under the effects of the paralysis.  I heard loud noises of blowing oxygen and strange voices.  I was intubated which is a terrifying feeling.  I was told if I could squeeze my hands they could remove the breathing tube.  To my horror, I could not move any muscles in my hands or toes or anywhere.  This state lasted probably only a few minutes, but it was an experience I would not want to repeat.

The operation was, according to surgeons, very difficult due to my surgical history.   They were relieved that their part was over,  that I was out of the OR and into the ICU.  There was a lot of (internal and external) bleeding.  My heart beat was strong.